The Art of Unlearning

Posted by on March 10, 2019 in Blog | 0 comments

The Art of Unlearning

“You give a poor man a fish and you feed him for a day. You teach him to fish and you give him an occupation that will feed him for a lifetime” Chinese proverb This is a statement which has resonated with me for many years. When I first heard it I was surprised at how profound a few words could be – but I had never really considered it in my own life. Probably because it was a given (so many things are a “given”!) and while in a corporate environment I always sought for an expert. It’s how the world works and we can’t know it all. But what if one isn’t designed to fish? I have immersed myself in the world of coaching over the last 15 years. A field of work which is designed to help people to become more effective and more “empowered” through question and enquiry. A space which was reserved primarily for leaders in organisations to have a clearer vision, outcomes, action plans and the ability to let go. Well – this was the case with me when I first began coaching. When I realised the power in this space I began to get curious about what would happen if this was taken to the masses? What would change in our society if people became more empowered and followed their own path? Would we get real change? Would it be revolutionary? What would people create? A new thought? A new idea? I never see it as a coincidence when people become disillusioned with their work. Something more deeply fulfilling may be calling to them. Change? Perhaps – not always. It happened with me and this is what I experience with my clients and many of those who have come through the Coaching training. We live in a constantly evolving world. Coaching in itself has its own development life cycle and as far as I’m concerned, will always be evolving as we are human. There are many teachers who teach incredible work, hold beautiful spaces and impart knowledge which I still to this day cannot cognitively explain, while something significant changed within. And that for me is the truest essence of coaching. A quietly connected mind. A friend recently spoke to a group of people at a conference about her inspirational story regarding her firstborn who was born with cerebral palsy. The feedback she received was that she came across more authentic when she deferred from her notes and went off-piste. Isn’t that telling? Sometimes we get so caught up in the wanting to be good, we forget that we already are. The pressure we impose on ourselves to be better and more knowledgable than who we are now – by learning new techniques, new forms, new things which have been created by others and become the defacto standard for being “good” and fitting into society. More tools in the toolbox, more to be and yet the most incredible coaches I have worked with don’t use tools. They simply hold a space of pure presence and say whatever comes to them in the moment. It comes from wisdom and I see it as new thought or creation in the moment. The questions, the insights, the presence. Having no expectations and no outcome, and from there...

read more

Happy 2019 and a review of 2018

Posted by on January 2, 2019 in Blog | 0 comments

Happy 2019 and a review of 2018

We never know what’s going to happen until it’s come to pass. 2018 has been a year of incredible insights and unexpected progress. With lots of letting go, new adventures, connections and taking a path less travelled. A year which has been personally challenging, liberating and exciting all at the same time. I’ve learnt, once again, that amongst all of the chaos of life we all have our own personal compelling pathways – which only ever show up in the moment. 2018 has seen the completion of our 4th round of the NoorWorks Coaching Training programme. But this year was different. We stripped the ICF accreditation to make it less about “labels” and more about the spirit of personal alignment. It was a tough corner to turn and I’ve subsequently come to realise that it was the right move. To support those who attend the course to be driven by their own personal passions (inside out), to become more effective leaders in their own lives and to bring them more authentically into our world. The labels associated with the profession are clearly the things which drive people to want more, thereby adding another layer to what is and has already been here all along – Innate Wisdom. We also had the honour of having Judith Delozier share some of her wisdom with the group – Thank you, Judy. I am grateful as the NoorWorks coaching community has been growing. It has also been incredibly fertile in a number of areas. We have seen 3 babies and a set of triplets come into the world. A set of twins and 2 other little ones have also been conceived – we look forward to welcoming them into the world. We have also seen a couple of house moves, job changes, a divorce and an engagement, businesses flourish, books written, and last but not least, authentic one-to-one coaching interventions bringing about incredible change for private clients. We also began the delivery of our Coaching Programme in Karachi, Pakistan. Shazia Nizam, one of our coaches/facilitators, has done an incredible job of marketing and delivering the programme in Karachi. We look forward to hearing from the delegates when the programme ends later this month. From what I hear, it has been incredibly powerful. Well done, Shazia! My contribution to the growing coaching community in Romania continues with Evolution Coaching Systems . We have had an incredible year in Bucharest, Iasi, and a new city – Timișoara. The randomness of each session and the incredible wisdom of the group blows me away every time. Georgiana and Alexandru, Thank you. One of the things which has become apparent to me this year, is the power of creation from wisdom. The compelling pull to bring something new into the world. We all have many ideas on what to bring into the world and we all too often get stopped by – us! So to celebrate my 10 year anniversary of working in Romania, Georgiana and I created “The 7 Days”. An open creative space for natural evolution to take place in a safe and loving environment. It was truly magical. Connections, conversations, collaborations and explorations – inside and out. We have been asked to run another in 2019, so let’s see. The Discovery Space Our Wider Community...

read more

The Shadow

Posted by on June 18, 2018 in Blog | 0 comments

The Shadow

While on a sunny school run my daughter felt compelled to stamp on my shadow. I instantly moved away and a little game began. We started to step on each other’s shadows and the game suddenly became intense and very personal. I could feel it in my body. In a split moment, I had a realisation. This is just my shadow. Its the outline of my reflection from the sun. It’s not me. And I began to relax and it became a much more playful experience. She stamped on it and stamped on it as we both giggled. I then had a realisation that as much as the shadow is simply a reflection of the sun behind us, what about me? If I am the result of the illusion of the power of my personal thinking, then am I actually real? Does the outside world actually affect me – positively or negatively? While I am in that illusion – yes it does. And all the emotions and bodily sensations which come with this will be. Life as the majority of the world knows it and perceives as real. And while I exist outside of my personal thinking and my mind is still, no it doesn’t. And from there, so many more options become available.  We are not our stories, or what we “believe/think” we are. We are the dance between it all.  We are that and way way more. Big love...

read more

“The cloud from within” by Alex Balsells

Posted by on May 16, 2018 in Blog | 0 comments

“The cloud from within” by Alex Balsells

The cloud had a name, they called her Nuna, and she was generous with the village by giving plenty of water, despite many other areas being drought ridden. However one day, without any reason, the cloud slowly disappeared. As it fell down in height the entire street had now become covered in fog. Life in the town became really confusing as visibility became difficult. The inhabitants loved Nuna and were always very thankful to the Universe for her existence, but they could not understand what was going on and the hope of Nuna going back to her original state seemed far away now. Weeks and months passed but Nuna did not move higher. The inhabitants started to resent Nuna and started to pray she would go away. Because the inhabitants did not accept the new situation they started to suffer quite badly, some of them became sick and even mad. The town was not a peaceful place anymore.   One day a brave little girl whose parents were very angry and upset, decided enough was enough. Against the law of the town she took their 2 horses and placed her parents on top of each and they trotted off outside the town. The other town folk shouted at her – it is dangerous outside the town, and if you go you will never come back (as it happened to some other adventurous people who tried before and never returned). Despite the shouts, the little girl was determined she was going to leave, no matter what. After many days of walking in the fog, a light started to appear, and the fog slowly cleared up leading to a bright light, like gold, which shone on everything. On noticing, Cintia, the little girl, was filled with joy and started to laugh with tears flowing down her cheeks. She saw striking beauty which words could not describe. Her parents also shared the same feelings which triggered them to jump off the horses and start dancing with Cintia, whilst laughing and crying of joy.  Now they could understand why no one had come back — the light was so amazing, bright and clear that everyone wanted to settle there, where the light...

read more

“Life Can Be Humbling If You Let It” by Ahmad Jooma

Posted by on January 2, 2018 in Blog | 0 comments

“Life Can Be Humbling If You Let It” by Ahmad Jooma

*Life Can Be Humbling If You Let It* On the journey of life, the lessons never stop. I’ve found myself reflecting on the beauty of the human experience. From children, we grow and fall in love with happiness. We have a view of the World and ‘how it all is’. Our wants and desires are the fuel and focus of our existence. We don’t even question possibility – we just go! And inevitably, one day, someday, life shatters our dreams into a million pieces. Our hands slip from the control of our proverbial vehicle in life and we go flying off the side of a mountain (metaphorically that is.. not literally, I hope!) And as we sit huddled up in a dark corner of existence staring at the broken shards of our dreams we’re forced to reconcile ourselves and our dreams with the pain of existence – ‘reality’ – is happiness just a mirage? This isn’t what I wanted. This isn’t how I imagined my life would be… where’s all the glitz, glamour and gold? Many of us get stuck at this point – unequipped and new to the pain we feel hopeless – at loss. “Why me?” – we question. “I don’t deserve this” – we claim. “Why doesn’t anyone help” – we accuse. And inside of these feelings years of our life can slip by without resolution. Life has pain built right into its structure: failures, illness, loss and death; it’s inherent. Sadness gets us all. That’s obvious. Over this past year, I’ve found a certain beauty unfolds when we accept this darkness – the dark side of life. It begins with acceptance. It begins when we stop resisting pain in life and the darkness within ourselves. Accepting that while there are over 7billion people on this planet – each of us must inherently walk our path alone. Sure… others may help but in the end, only we can overcome our battles and demons. Because only we can see what’s in our mind’s eye. A good friend and mentor often reminds me – “when you’re frustrated, rejoice, because it means change is coming!” I find we often seek to hide or ignore the darkness that exists in our lives or within ourselves and that only serves to prolong suffering. Without this darkness or ‘friction’, there can be no progress. If there was no friction there would be no need for progress. Nothing in what I’ve written is easy to achieve. Awareness and acceptance of who we really are and our journey can take a lifetime. I assume most of us live and die without ever reaching self-awareness. But if and when you can honestly look at yourself and say this is me… this is my life… both the good and the bad… the light and the dark… then life can be a humbling experience. And at once a certain compassion develops for all other humans because we’re all going through this. This year was the first time I truly saw and accepted that I can be a fucking arsehole. As much as I love for people to see me as wonderful and loving – cruelty, selfishness and arrogance also feature heavily in my personality. Acceptance doesn’t excuse my behaviour or provide resolution for the people I hurt....

read more

To Accredit or not, that is the question….

Posted by on December 4, 2017 in Blog | 0 comments

To Accredit or not, that is the question….

And the answer for me, is NO. It feels like a radical move, becoming more vulnerable in the world and at the same time, it’s liberating.   I have recently made a decision (or may have already made a decision for a while but didn’t know it consciously) that I will not renew my accreditation with the International Coaching Federation (ICF) in December 2018.  I’ve had an incredible 3 years of teaching an ICF Accredited Coaching Course with my teacher and mentor, Jan Elfline who has been incredibly generous and trusting to provide me with the opportunity. I have learnt a lot! Jan supported me in passing my accreditation exams which I had failed first time round because she knew my ability and had seen me in action in class. Huge sponsorship and “fish” which I will be eternally grateful for. And earlier this week she succumbed to the task to say that it was time for me to move on. And it just feels right for me – now. I know a lot of my coaching colleagues and students will be thinking, WHAT??? With all the classroom hours you’ve put in, all the money you’ve invested, all the coaching you’ve done, all the exams you’ve taken? Why would you not be making the most of this opportunity? Also, who will hire you if you’re not accredited? Everyone wants an Accredited coach now. Everyone? Let me explain…. I have been learning about a new understanding which has taught me that all of our experience in life is Inside out. We create our reality which stems from our thinking. And that’s it. Which begs the question, what is the world which I want to create?   Now, if I create a reality that only the best coaches on the planet are “accredited” and have to jump through hoops to be who they really are in this moment in time, then it isn’t something which fits with me. And that is exactly what has happened.  I met a woman earlier this year who has had “life experiences” and her presence is simply beautiful. She wanted to train as an accredited coach and I asked why she thought she needed accreditation. She said that she needs the “Stamp”. Someone to say she is qualified. I asked her to coach me and it was incredibly powerful. She subsequently chose to do the training and is now Coaching. I recently asked her if she needed to have an accredited qualification to do the work and she said “back then yes, but not now”. Another lady who is incredibly connected with her wisdom has been doing some wonderful work which i have been observing. I think she is ready to Teach. Or to be a Mentor. I then found out that she would need another couple of years of practise before she is ready. Which gave rise to more and more questions.       8 years as an Accredited Coach and not once was I asked about my accreditation. The most effective coaches operate through wisdom and are effective in the moment – not because they simply have been accredited. I have recently been told that the top 3 coaches in the world today, are not accredited. I have no idea who these people are to be honest and it doesn’t matter. What matters is that they are doing the work,...

read more

A journey with the 3 Principles

Posted by on October 10, 2017 in Blog | 0 comments

A journey with the 3 Principles

While training an NLP module in Lasi, Romania in May 2018 I was asked if I would be interested in speaking at the NLP congress in Bucharest in October about something which I had only really understood in March this year.     Roll back to 2014 :  I had attending Kimberley Hares “The He’art of Thriving” course  (about the 3 principles), by invitation and something happened. I can’t explain with any clarity what changed and I had a realisation and became deeply confused inside.  By the way, that’s not a bad thing. I wasn’t able to make a decision about much and just went with the flow with what was presented to me – even when I wasn’t 100% sure if it was for me. There was very little clarity and in hindsight those 3 years are a bit of a haze.    Roll forward to March 2017 : Kim then invited me to come again in March and this time I felt like I’d got it. Don’t ask we what I got or how but on the second day I was filled with an incredible sense of gratitude – by simply watching a video which I would probably not have had the same response to at another time or in another place – and cried most of the afternoon with gratitude. My vision was clearer, I felt like it’d expanded inside and there was an incredible sense of presence – wholly and completely.    Roll forward to May :    While working with Evolution Coaching in a Romania, I saught permission from Alex and Georgie to share the 3 principles with the group on the last afternoon – and they agreed. While doing so something instantly shifted in the room. On the same evening I was asked to speak at the NLP congress and accepted.    Now I have facilitated workshops in the past and trained and its a space I love. All I do is guide the group through exercises and offer nuggets of wisdom now and again. But it’s mostly about them getting their learning in their muscles, while creating a safe space for this to happen. But I’d never been asked to speak for 2 hours in one stretch – so it was a bit daunting.    Ok so a speech is still about the groups learning too, but I had never spoken for 2 hours straight – ever. There’s always someone wanting to say something – and I love to listen to people. So this was now all about them listening to me.    Roll forward to this past weekend :   And so I did it. I stood up, i started to speak and was completely in the zone. I said “I’m normally the listener, so this is new for me, I’m going to be the speaker”. And I started to speak. Don’t ask me what I said because I cannot remember most of it. There were stories, I shared experiences and just went with what came. At one point I was so overwhelmed with what I wanted to say I told the group “I want to explode with everything I want to share” and then went quiet. I spoke again, and again cannot remember what I said. What I realise in hindsight is that I was still listening. It was a...

read more

From being Still, I had no idea just how much can happen…

Posted by on July 7, 2017 in Blog | 0 comments

From being Still, I had no idea just how much can happen…

It’s illogical. Being STILL has made so much happen. Effortlessly. And it has been amazing and productive.  Partly this has been forced due to my leg injury. And partly because I have become more aware of my own personal thinking. And as a result I have now relaxed more into my own natural, innate well-being. And from here wisdom and well-being really does flow: I am more open and less ingrained in my old thinking patterns. I have less judgement about myself and others. I accept that this moment is really all I will ever have. I accept the world as it is. The quality of my interactions with people is either much more joyful or deeper.  I sleep better because the sleep I have is enough and I am no longer judging the sleep or quality of it. I do not feel the need to be travelling as much and love being at home. I eat more home made food. I eat less and drink more water (although this may be due to summer 😉 ). I spend less money. Meetings I was anxious about are now just whatever they will be when I get there. I have no to-do lists – only a diary. My actions are now more aligned with who I am, and less from the necessity to do something based on what I or others “think”.  The only things which makes me “do” something come from the inside and it feels like inspiration. A natural pull. And I still feel anger, pain, sadness and anxiety.  They just don’t last as long. Once I’m aware, I’m done.  I am human.  I feel more connected. I feel love.   And we all have this. Do you want to receive this understanding? Come to one of our workshops on how to “Wake Up to your own innate...

read more

The Discovery Space (www.thediscoveryspace.com)

Posted by on March 17, 2017 in Blog | 0 comments

The Discovery Space (www.thediscoveryspace.com)

I’ve recently immersed myself into another way of being. Well, it’s not new, it’s something I know I slip in and out of. It’s what I would describe as a place of peace and joy. A place where I have no “old thinking”. And I have been experiencing “new thinking” as a result, which is a compete revelation. Creativity if you will. How did this happen? I can only explain the journey so far, so here it is. I had a conversation with a very interesting man a few months ago, which was instigated by our mutual friend, Dott. He is an Englishman, Julian, who he lives in a Mill on the outskirts of Antwerp. In our conversation, he planted a seed. And I could listen to this man for hours, by the way. He lives life in the way in which he spoke and doesn’t even own a watch! He very clearly reminded me that humans, and everything around us for that matter, are not linear. We are complex and attempting to put our lives into a linear space is constricting and restrictive. And the only way we know this is true is via a litmus test we call ‘feelings’. Which are our bodies’ way of flagging something up and saying LISTEN! Typically a result of our thinking. So I thought: ‘Let me be completely and utterly curious and see what comes. With no expectations and no judgement and no plan.’ So there I was – wholly present and living in the moment. From this space of presence, I had a moment of real fear, anger and despair when seeing pictures of 5 year olds handcuffed at border control across some airports in the US, on social media. And as I sat very much in these feelings on the underground, a busker strummed “That’s not the shape of my heart” by Sting, and I cried. Lots of tears on a packed train, and it was fine. It felt like the right thing to do and I let it happen. A few days later, I had an idea. An idea which I shared with a fellow coach (thank you, Nat!) and some friends and parents at school. Who votes? People. A cluster of People = A community. When communities connect and are creative, something wonderful happens and I want that for every community across the planet. So, I decided to hold a space for people who wanted to connect and share their worlds. The space is called “The Discovery Space” and here were my initial notes (it’s all subject to change): The practical bit :    To hold a space for 5-9 people to come together to allow whatever comes to come. 2 hours once a month.   The Magical part :    We have no agenda We work with the wisdom of the group (the collective intelligence) and use the resources we all have. We allow what comes, to come, and go with what feels right We have authentic conversations At the time the group supports it’s members, listens, learns and sponsors We don’t know where we will meet on a monthly basis and it could change We don’t know who will be in the group from one month to the next     New ideas and projects/work/etc can spin off from the group  ...

read more

“Collective intelligence” by Dorothy Oger

Posted by on October 13, 2015 in Blog | 0 comments

“Collective intelligence” by Dorothy Oger

  “Collective intelligence Is not just a gathering. It is a meeting of the souls, Of the hearts and of the minds. It takes a village to raise a child. It takes water, sun, wind, stillness and a fertile soil For the seed to become a tree.   So ask yourself: ‘What part will I play in this collective?’ ‘How can I create the space to welcome your very unique contribution?’ Ask yourself: ‘With how much joy will you all jam your song like no one has heard before?’ ‘What is that merging dance of individual and group, of holon to holon, through holon?’  I bring out the best in you. You bring out the best in me, in us. And together we are an incredible force, So much more than the sum of the parts.Like the sand on the plate resonating with sound,   Ask yourself: ‘What is the vibration that allows us to vibrate together?’ And like the sand on the plate, notice how beautiful and meaningful this merging is!Collective intelligence is the meeting of the best of me with the best of you for the best of us. We are equal partners in this enterprise for we all value each other and have a vivid commitment to support the intention and the goal.   In this dance between structure and freedom, the power lies in the process that sustains inclusion, consent and transparency. Anything is possible when we bring our super powers to the circle! And I, for one, am really curious about what is possible when you and you and you and I are in resonance.”   Dott...

read more